A Nastygram for Google Juice

The arrogance of traditional ecommerce never ceases to amaze me. Dean Hunt’s blog happens to rank high in Google SERPs for a certain keyword, and some company wants him to “remove your blog from google for this search term [sic].”

Hold on, it gets better. Their rationale? “An online business should be higher in Google than a blog [sic].” So selling something “should” automatically take priority over saying something? Even the most arrogant salesman knows you have to say something before you sell something!

You can’t make up stuff like this. Here’s the original email exchange for your reading pleasure.

——-Original Message——-

From: xxxxx xxxxxxxxx
Date: 12/8/2006 xx:xx:xx PM
To: Dean Hunt
Subject: DeanHunt.com Google Removal Request

Hello Dean,

My name is [edited] and I run [edited].com

I have been running the site for over two years and we have been ranked very highly for the search term [edited].

On Thursday morning I checked our google positions and your site is now above us for this term. I haev checked your blog and it has nothing to do with [edited], so I think it would be best all round if you remove your blog from google for this search term.

Please understand that we make our living from this, and you are just writing a blog that has nothing to do with [edited].

If you do not remove yourself from google for this search, then I will call them myself and have you removed.

I expect a reply soon.

Thankyou.

[edited]
[edited].com

From: xxxxx xxxxxxxxx
Date: 12/8/2006 xx:xx:xx PM
To: [edited]
Subject: Re: DeanHunt.com Google Removal Request

[edited],

Dean here from DeanHunt.com

I just received your e-mail. My first question would have to be… Are you serious?

I had to re-read your e-mail three times to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me!

Here is some more info that may help you understand my stance on this:

a) I have never attempted to rank for the search term [edited], I seem to rank fairly well for [edited], which I suppose is fairly similar. But if Google prefers my site to yours then perhaps you should be asking yourself why that is.

b) There is nothing I can do about removing myself for that search term, nor am I going to attempt to do anything. I have no information on my site related to [edited], so I am sure that the searchers will generally visit your site instead.

c) You can contact Google if you wish! I doubt you will get a serious reply though.

Perhaps instead of wasting your time with e-mails like this you could work on improving your web site instead?

Anyway, good luck with contacting google, if you do get a reply, I would love a copy of their e-mail. I have prepared a nice little place on my wall to hang it from.

Take care,

Dean

Dean,

Firstly, I have to admit that I was not impressed with the sarcastic nature of your reply.

Secondly, I am writing to let you know that I have contacted Google and am awaiting their reply.

You have to understand Dean that an online business should be higher in Google than a blog.

Don’t forget that Google is a business as well, they obviously make more money from other businesses than they do from blogs, so it is in their interest that I am higher than you for certain searches.

I have also contacted my lawyer about this issue, so you should expect a letter in the post very soon.

I expect a reply soon.

“They obviously make more money from other businesses than they do from blogs.” These crybabies clearly don’t understand that Google is an advertising company. While businesses pay for advertising on media, blogs are media. Without media, advertising cannot exist.

Plus, Google has no problem stepping on clueless little companies. Just look what they did to BMW. Searchbots don’t care whether you’re a “business” or a “blog”; in the eyes of a searchbot, you’re nothing but data.

Having been blessed with a little Google juice myself, burying clueless Philippine conglomerates in SERPs for trophy keywords without even trying, I just have to say: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Welcome to a world where bullying salesmen and their lawyers are not automatically entitled to rule your media zeitgeist.

Blogs naturally place high in SERPs because of their easy updating and linkbuilding features. My advice to these clueless crybabies: quit whining and get your own blog. If you really have something to say, you will post it, people will link to it, and it will get Google juice. Otherwise, STFU.

(Via Roger Filomeno.)

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